Regretting Her Death
by Angel N Darkness
Summary: Severus visits Lily's grave and talks to her... Written for Herbology Assignment 9 on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry forum!
A/N: This story will be a drabble/onshot and it's for Herbology assignment 9 on the Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft & Wizardry forum! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own HP!

Word Count: 615

 **Brief Lesson:** Thanks to a fan theory about Snape's first words to Harry, many of us have a basic understanding of the Asphodel plant. A member of the lily family, asphodel has been associated with death since the times of the Ancient Greek. The Ancient Greeks thought the plant grew in Elyssian Fields, and it was also associated with Persephone, the wife of Hades and Goddess of the Underworld. By the Victorian Era, the plant had picked up a new association: Regret. It was often planted at graces by people who had regrets relating to the deceased: Things they wished they'd done or said differently.

 **Task:** Write about a character regretting someone's death.

Extra Prompts: (character) Severus Snape (either the dead or living character)

Extra Prompt: (character) Lily Evans (either the dead or living character)

Extra Prompts: (genre) Angst

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Severus Snape knelt down at Lily Potter nee Evan's grave and rested his hand on the headstone. "I'm sorry, Lily, so sorry. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you or miss you. I failed you in life and I have failed you in death."

He stopped talking and took in a deep breath and let it out. "I didn't see that Harry was being abused when I should have, after all I knew how bitter your sister was even at a young age. All I saw was James looking back at me from the grave. I promise you that I will do better from now on. I won't let you down again, Lily. Merlin there is so much that I have to say, but I'm not sure that I have the words for it."

He closed his eyes as he felt a tear cascade down his face. "I'm sorry that I never got the chance to make you see how much you meant to me. Even after you married James I loved you, but I realize now that you were meant for him and not me. I have so many regrets and I have no way to fix them because you're gone. Gods, Lily, I miss you so much."

He let out a strangled sob. "I never meant for you to die thinking that I gave up on you or our friendship. I mean how could I? You were such a big part of my life and I never got to tell you how much you meant to me. You helped me when nobody else did. You saved me so many times and I couldn't save you the one time that you so desperately needed it."

He swiped at the tears falling steadily down his face. "You should be here to watch your son grow up. You should be here to knock some sense into him and into me. You died and left me all alone, but now your son makes sure that I know I'm not alone. Harry is so like you, Lily, that sometimes I think I actually see you. I can never make up for the fact that I didn't save you, but I can and will make sure that Harry lives to a ripe old age."

He gave a watery chuckle. "There is so much that you are missing, and I can't help, but feel that it's my fault. I didn't expect to live through this war, but your son made sure that I did. He kept fighting for me even when I had given up. I may not have been there for you like I should have been, but I will be there for your son from now on, Lily, this I can swear to you."

He leaned forward and kissed right where her name was engraved on the headstone. "I will always love you, Lily, but it's time for me to start actually living again. The only way I know how to make everything up to you is to live like you would want me to. I will come back and see you later this month with Harry. Keep looking down on us because I know that we both miss and love you."

He stood up and with one more look at Lily's headstone he turned on his heel and swept away. Yes, the way to make up for all the wrongs he did to Lily was to live like she would want him to. He would always regret that she died, but he could make it up to her by being there for Harry. He wouldn't fail Lily again. He refused to.

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A/N 2: I actually teared up writing this oneshot... I hope that you all enjoy it! Click the button and let me know what you think!


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